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Tuesday, November 23, 2010



In order to progress on the social and professional levels, we all find ourselves trying too hard to influence others. I have to admit, that doing so effectively is not a walk in the park, especially in the Middle East and North Africa region, where above interpersonal skills needed, the diversity of the region that is home to more than 150 nationalities creates a need for intercultural understanding.
In order to assist you doing a better job at it, I have jotted down below Influencing Do’s and Don’ts

Influencing Do’s


1.    Put your main effort into trying to understand the other person. 90% of the time, influencing goes wrong because we put all our effort into expanding our own views
2.    Listen, and show you are listening by using the skills of summarizing and clarifying
3.    Know yourself: understand how you appear to others; recognize your own unhelpful ‘hot-buttons’ and work on eliminating them
4.    Ask open questions and listen carefully to the answers
5.    Create authentic rapport with the other person through appropriate body language
6.    Let people find their own solutions. Develop alternatives to giving others advice
7.    Develop a range of styles appropriate to the occasion – don’t just rely on one or two ways of influencing
8.    Stay open to being influenced yourself. Ask for feedback and learn from it
9.    Act on the belief that you have the right to be heard and to say what you want


Influencing Don’ts

1.    Starting with a fixed position that you are determined to defend at all cost
2.    Shouting, yelling, screaming and finger-jabbing
3.    Interrupting the other person with your own views
4.    Talking more than you listen
5.    Relying on facts, figures, logic and data as the most compelling part of your argument
6.    Being determined not to be influenced by the other person
7.    Making assumptions about the other person’s motivation
8.    Never asking for, or paying any attention to, feedback
9.    Giving advice

Camil El Khoury 

Posted By Ideas Group at
08:46 - AM
influencing skills | ideas groupideas group is a global learning and human capital development firm specialized in leadership, team development and learning business process outsourcing BPO. We help our clients become high performance organizations and foster a sustainable growth.